Father's Day 2050

Idiots of the Week

Once again the prize goes to the US media. As they should be, the media and the chattering classes are doing stories about the report card Shrub’s Administration will issue about the war in Iraq. Frequently the phrase “militarily and politically” are being used. This is a good thing. It implies that the media is doing stories and the pundits are considering more than simply the military efforts in Iraq. It implies that the report card should also consider how well the Iraqi government is performing.

There is other good news.

Many are suggesting that the actions and comments by Shrub and his lieutenants imply that whatever the news from Iraq, the Shrub Administration will argue that it is too early to tell if the surge is working. Reports and commentary suggest that whatever the news is in September that Shrub will do all he can to keep the war going. This way mopping up the mess will be left to another administration. The clearest evidence to support this theory are comments Shrub’s press secretary, Tony Snow, made last week, “I have warned from the very beginning about expecting some sort of magical thing to happen in September.”

The Fault Dear Media

But as they have in the past, the US media and particularly the punditocracy are making a horrible mistake.

There’ s not nearly enough talk about two other components to the war. If the US is to succeed in Iraq, four things have to happen. The first two have been given attention in the media: the US military has to suppress the insurgency, the Iraqi government has to be a dynamic, positive, and competent force in the country.

The other two components of success have not: the status of the Iraqi security forces (its army and police force) and the status of the Iraqi infrastructure. The Iraqi security forces will have to standup and take charge when US troops leave. And when the US leaves, a competent infrastructure has to be operational so that essential goods and services are delivered routinely: Iraqi’s need to have electricity as well as easy access to food, water, and clothing. Their sewage systems have to work. Their oil and other industries have to produce revenues.

It is easy to understand why Shrub and his administration have no desire to talk about the Iraqi security forces and the Iraqi infrastructure—there’s very little progress being made in these arenas. But because the media is so often acting like a loyal puppy dog, Americans are not reading and hearing about these second two components enough.

This is a mistake of the highest order.

Kudos to Jon Stewart

For catching Shrub’s press secretary, Tony Snow, lying. Stewart showed video tape from March 15. Snow said that the firing of the US attorneys was performance based. Last week at a press conference, a reporter commented to Snow, that earlier Snow had stated that politics was not involved, the firing of the US attorney’s was performance based.

Snow interrupted, “No, that is something—we never said that.”

Line of the Week

Courtesy of Jay Leno, host of The Tonight Show, "Scooter" Libby [is] going to jail unless they—unless President Bush acts quickly. Yeah.

And today, the city of New Orleans said, "Good luck with Bush acting quickly. Let us know how that goes – give us a call. Let us know how that works out, that quickly thing."

Father’s Day 2050

Last Sunday, Oklahoma Senator James Inhofe had a pleasant Father’s Day with his family. When he went to bed on Sunday night, it was Father’s Day 2007. When he woke up, it was Father’s Day 2050—and some of his grandchildren wanted to talk with him.

They gave him a robe and slippers. They led him to a comfortable chair. It was morning. He was hungry. He asked for coffee and steak and eggs.

His grandchildren gasped.

One of his grandchildren said, “Do you know what that would cost?”

Inhofe replied, “A few bucks.”

The grandchildren gasped again. “The steak and coffee alone require the use of over 50,000 gallons of water. Not even gazillionaires can eat a meal that requires the use of so much water.”

The Senator barked, “What’s this hogwash?”

One of the grandchildren pulled a gadget out of his pocket. He pushed the gadget’s screen a few times. Then he said, “Look at the date on the newspaper.”
Inhofe said, “2050. So?”

One of the grandchildren said, “Things are different now.”

Another said, “The world is a different place than when you were here.”

Bubbles

One of the grandchildren picked up the gadget the Senator had. She pushed a few things on the gadget’s screen. She showed Inhofe the picture on the gadget’s screen.

Inhofe said, “What’s that?”

“It’s a picture of Oklahoma City from 30,000 feet.”

Inhofe said, “It’s a picture of a fishbowl put over a city.”

One of the grandchildren said, “All the cities have them now.”

Inhofe said, “Fishbowls?”

One of his grandchildren said, “We call them bubbles.”

Another added, “They are made of glass, plastic, and some stuff you don’t know about yet.”

Inhofe asked, “Don’t know?”

One of his grandchildren said, “The air is so bad we had to put bubbles over the cities.”

“Well that’s a good thing.”

A grandchild asked, “That the air is bad is a good thing?”
Inhofe said, “It’s a good thing that we have the technology to build the bubbles.”

One of the grandchildren showed his grandfather the contents of a suitcase. “These are the medications I take in a year for my asthma.”

Inhofe said, “Well it’s good you have those medications to take.”

The grandchild coughed. “Doctors tell me that a hundred years ago I wouldn’t have developed the asthma. They say that I got it from the bad air.”

Inhofe responded, “Oh.”

One of the grandchildren said, “We have a little movie we’d like to show you.”

One of the grandchildren pushed a button. A thin screen descended from the ceiling. The lights dimmed. Images appeared on the screen.

A Short Movie

The first images were still pictures taken of glaciers. The still pictures made it obvious that the glaciers were melting.

One of the grandchildren said, “These pictures were taken when you were alive.”

Then there was a film clip of Senator Inhofe. He said:

“Catastrophic global warming is a hoax.”

“No meaningful warming has occurred over the last century."

"Global warming is still considered to be a theory and has not come close to being sufficiently proven."

Another picture appeared on the screen.

One of the grandchildren said, “This was taken the day you said that everything on which the environmentalists ‘based their story, in terms of the facts, has been refuted scientifically.’ ”

Another grandchild added, “This picture was taken the day you said, ‘Global Warming is the second-largest hoax ever played on the American people, after the separation of church and state.’ ”

One of the grandchildren said, “This is what remains of the ice cap at the North Pole.”

It was a picture of water.

A grandchild said, “This is a picture of the dikes they had to build to keep Miami dry.”

Another of the grandchild said, “This is a picture of the dikes used to keep London dry.”

Another grandchild said, “This is a picture of the dikes—”

Inhof replied, “Enough already with the dikes!”

They saw a picture of a desert.

One of the grandchildren said, “In 2001 this was a meadow.”

They saw a picture of a lake.

Then they saw a picture of a dry and shallow valley. One of the grandchildren said, “What used to be a lake looks like this now.”

They saw some numbers. One of the grandchildren said, “This number represents the number in thousands of the people killed in a year by something connected with global warming.”

The little movie ended. The lights came back on.

Laughing Stock

One grandchild said, “Clearly you were wrong about global warming.”

Another grandchild said, “But it’s worse than that. A lot of people were wrong about global warming.”

A granchild added, “You’re a laughing stock.”

Inhofe replied, “Me?”

Another grandchild said, “A laughing stock is just the start of it.”

The Senator wagged his finger in the air and said, “I am James Inhofe. I’m the senior senator from the great state of Oklahoma. Kay and I are the proud parents—”

A grandchild said, “That was then, today you’re a laughing stock.”

Inhofe replied, “Well a company I ran did have some problems.”

A grandchild added, “Quaker Life Insurance Compnay went bankrupt. But people who hate you, people who laugh at you don’t even bother with that. It’s very small potatoes.”

Another grandchild commented, “ ’Inhofe’ is now a synonym for Luddite.”

Inhofe asked, “What’s a Luddite?”

A granchild said, “Anyone opposed to progress.”

Another grandhild said, “Movies have been made that contrast your comments—espcially about global warming—with reality.”

Another grandchild said, “One comedian, when he was in trouble, just said your name—and people laughed. It became his signiture joke. He’s used that joke to provoke millions of people to laugh.”

Inhofe waved his hand in the air. “Politicians have been providing fodder for comedians for years.”

A grandchild said, “You are the poster boy for the worst of your generation.”

Another granchild said, “Poll after poll after poll shouts to all that you’re reputation is worse than murderers, rapists, and horrible polticians.”

A grandchild said, “You’re reputation is even worse than George Bush’s.”

A granchild commented, “I didn’t know that.”

Yet another grandchild added, “That’s old news. In recent polls he’s even lower than Paris Hilton.”

Inhofe asked, “Paris Hilton is still alive?”

Another grandchild said, “She’s gotten some really bad publicity of late.”

One Question

One grandchild said, “Clearly you were wrong about global warming. There’s no doubt you’re now a laughing stock. Study after study shows that comments you made and actions you took slowed the progress on global warming. “

Another grandchild turned to Inhofe and said, “We know you got over a million dollars in contributions from oil, gas, and other energy companies. We know that the money they gave encouraged you to say and do the things you said and did.”

One of the grandchildren said, “We called you here to ask you one question.”

Inhofe sat up in his chair. “Okay, what is it?

One of the grandchildren asked, “Was it worth it?”